My heart feels like it could burst through my skin. I can feel the tingling sensations and energy of joy reverberating within. I am vitally alive and flourishing!! I’m not quite sure what it would look like if I attempted to reveal that, but my soul longs for this deep expression. The image that comes to mind is the scene in Beauty and the Beast where they dance with a magical confetti swirling around and the music sweeps them off their feet.
Looking back through the years and the deep layers within me, I felt so invisible, unknown, unwanted (unless I could serve and give to others), no sense of self, no self-care.
I poured out wholeheartedly. I loved deep. For all appearance’s sake, I was high functioning. No one knew how much I was suffering and alone. No one knew I was drowning or dying.
Today, though, I am celebrating a half century!!!!! I’m celebrating that for all the hard roads and hard work of healing, I am a witness to a miracle.
Through the healing journey, I am growing up parts of me that were stunted. I am finding lost parts of me that were buried, hidden, or frozen. I am a tenacious fighter. I am learning to feel, to breathe, to integrate and metabolize trauma. I am walking a path with other hurting souls, and passionately bringing others to a place called home. A place of healing, freedom, and new life. And most definitely, a place worth celebrating!!!!!
Life still holds joy and suffering. It is messy, unfinished and in process. Pausing to notice and embrace the depths of life make it incredibly meaningful. My heart is full.
For your reflection: What steps have you been taking through your own story to find who you are, to heal, to grow? What have you learned about you? Pause for a moment and look for the good; look for the growth. See if you can allow space for both joy and sorrow.
Action steps: Breathe deep. Stretch your body slowly to feel into each different muscle that is longing for some attention. Name the people and things that have given you support on your path. Lift up your face with the intention of gratitude and whisper what you are grateful for, even when it’s messy, unfinished, and in process. I am glad you are here.
