emotions

It's About Time

Have you ever been on a long journey and you wonder when it will ever end? Kind of like 2020, that just kept unfolding more and more layers of chaos, insanity, and uncertainty. 2020 was marked in history by a global pandemic, racial concerns, and political unrest. How often this year have we collectively felt no clear answers, harsh division, and such intense conflicting views?

In our humanity, we prefer consistency, clarity, stability, and steady footing. How do we collectively walk complexity, ambiguity, uncertainty and extended, ongoing distress? As a nation and most likely the world, we are weary. It’s been a lot to carry, and it is long.

Sometimes we wish for time to be different. That we could be further ahead on our journey, finish things sooner, and be somewhere we aren’t. Move past this, get it over with, and put it behind us.

Sometimes the healing journey is long. And long is really hard when it is painful, raw, and hurting. Lots of layers to sort through, making meaning, feeling our feelings, and bearing witness. It takes as long as it takes.

Authenticity: Finding Me.

Sometimes the snow globe spins up quite a storm, and you can’t see clearly until it settles. Our emotions are that way, and even more so when we are in relationship with others who also have their emotions, histories, and experiences. Our busyness can stir us up, or a trauma response, or feeling misunderstood or conflicted — all of these cause an internal storm that needs time to settle before we can land and find our feet again.

The last couple of weeks have been like that for me. So much happening, all of which required time for my heart and mind to process, reflect, and integrate. I had been taking further steps into my healing journey, all at the same time that life stirred up new opportunities to work on the layers.

We talk about healing trauma as being able to metabolize and take in all that has happened and how we’ve experienced it. We do that best little by little, because often it is happening too fast and too much at once for our nervous system to settle and for our narrative to be able to make meaning from it.

Finding a sense of home base, letting the snow globe and emotions settle, I can step back and find what I think and feel and what it means to me.

How to Heal: A reflection on pain and frustration

We are biologically wired to connect and integrate. And when things come up that hurt us or scare us, we get this urge to fight, run away, or avoid it.

What do you notice happening in your body when something feels painful or frustrating? What is your gut response?

We don’t heal by stuffing, avoiding, denying or minimizing pain. We don’t heal by spiritually bypassing. We don’t heal by self-medicating or by trading one addiction for another.

We heal by having the courage to face hard things with strong support. We can work through what has been unresolved or passed down, and find safe people who can hold space that allows us to heal and grow. That act of courage changes the pattern for generations.