Perhaps one of the key foundations of mental health is the ability to be in reality. It is the truth of what we are experiencing, in its fullness and entirety. To be fair, sometimes this is too much, and we have to take it in smaller pieces.
The alternative is to avoid, deny, push away, and bury what is happening — and this does not help in the long term. For a time, or a season, it may serve a purpose to protect us to function in those ways — and then at some point it is worth the effort to step into what is more real, accurate and true.
It is okay (and needed) to be able to say this hurts. This is hard. This has lots of layers and conflicting feelings. There are parts of me that I have to acknowledge and be true to, so that I can authentically show up in the world. Things I can’t pretend or minimize the impact of what it means to me. There may be some things that are really bothering me that I need to do something about.
Even as I write that, I realize some are not ready. Some would say no, it is better to stay busy, dismiss, procrastinate, brush it off, move on. It feels too hard or too much to sit with what is. To feel what I feel. To name it, express it, or do something about it.
We can hold these multiple layers together as somewhat of a paradox. I am both facing my reality and I am not ready for too much or too soon. I care and I want to show up, and I am not sure if it will make enough difference if I do. I am wrestling and unsettled. I have a hard time landing — and yet even in the bumpy, messy, confusing and conflicting, I can name what I know to be true.
For your reflection: Is there a phrase that resonates with you? What situation or emotions or challenge do you relate it to right now? How so? What is the best part of what you are experiencing? What is the hardest part?
Action steps: See if you can spend a moment in two (or three) conflicting parts. Sit in one chair to talk about one aspect of your reality, then move to a different chair to share alternative feelings. Go back and forth between the different chairs as you consider the unfolding layers. You can do the same with your dominant hand writing something that you feel clear and strong about, and then use your non-dominant hand to express what feels unresolved, unsettled, and bumpy. Go back and forth in the dialogue between the two.
