Ready ....or not. The Paradoxes of Reality.

Perhaps one of the key foundations of mental health is the ability to be in reality. It is the truth of what we are experiencing, in its fullness and entirety. To be fair, sometimes this is too much, and we have to take it in smaller pieces.

The alternative is to avoid, deny, push away, and bury what is happening — and this does not help in the long term. For a time, or a season, it may serve a purpose to protect us to function in those ways — and then at some point it is worth the effort to step into what is more real, accurate and true.

It is okay (and needed) to be able to say this hurts. This is hard. This has lots of layers and conflicting feelings. There are parts of me that I have to acknowledge and be true to, so that I can authentically show up in the world. Things I can’t pretend or minimize the impact of what it means to me. There may be some things that are really bothering me that I need to do something about.

When You Don't Know What To Do

Sometimes it’s hard to find your way in the dark. A difficult relationship, an ongoing struggle, patterns of spiraling, the exasperation of parenting, the journey of healing trauma. Where do you most relate? Perhaps life feels really out of balance. Maybe it took being off balance for you to notice. In the noticing, we can do something about it.

Go back to what you know to be true. What are the frameworks for mental health that give you (and your relationships) a strong foundation?

Somewhere you may have felt derailed or thrown off balance. The beautiful thing is, we can always come back to center. We don’t have to stay stuck; we don’t have to keep spiraling.

Life In Balance

Nature teaches us daily rhythms: morning and night, light and darkness, seasons of budding growth and dormant hibernation. Our inhale speaks to our sympathetic nervous system to bring energy and mobilization; our exhale whispers to our parasympathetic nervous system to bring a calm that settles us. Like the tide that rolls in and out, our bellies lift with the in-breath and contract on the out-breath.

In yoga, we work both sides of the body and notice the differences in how it feels when we reach, stretch, and contract — on the left, on the right — awareness and attention to the upper body and the lower body. We awaken and check our posture, our alignment, and notice where we hold tightness and need to soften.

Welcome All the Parts

If we really want to know ourselves, how necessary it is to sit with all the layers of complexity, and to hold our reality with compassion. Big feelings of gratitude can also be felt with moments of fear and frailty. We can be both strong and raw, both determined and worn. It is okay to be where we are, while we also hold with intention a desire to move forward. We can view our lives and our growth as a process of ups, downs, challenges, and rest.

With mindfulness, we are more fully aware, and we welcome what is.

For some, there may be discouragement being hit with the waves of hard emotions. It may take extra practice to notice what else is happening, to not only reinforce the negative, to not spiral down with heaviness.

There’s something really significant about validating a person’s reality and whole experience. To welcome all the parts, all the feelings, no matter how conflicting or how confusing they may be. Not only are we needing to do this for others; we can learn to do this for ourselves.

Beyond Grateful

My heart feels like it could burst through my skin. I can feel the tingling sensations and energy of joy reverberating within. I am vitally alive and flourishing!! I’m not quite sure what it would look like if I attempted to reveal that, but my soul longs for this deep expression. The image that comes to mind is the scene in Beauty and the Beast where they dance with a magical confetti swirling around and the music sweeps them off their feet.

Looking back through the years and the deep layers within me, I felt so invisible, unknown, unwanted (unless I could serve and give to others), no sense of self, no self-care.

I poured out wholeheartedly. I loved deep. For all appearance’s sake, I was high functioning. No one knew how much I was suffering and alone. No one knew I was drowning or dying.

Today, though, I am celebrating a half century!!!!! I’m celebrating that for all the hard roads and hard work of healing, I am a witness to a miracle.

A Weary World

In all of the racing, stressing, stretching, and weary world that can take an enormous toll, I want you to hear something.

We have a way to navigate through this hard world. We are not left defenseless or voiceless.

When we’re tired and need to rest, it’s time to pause or stop for awhile. When something is too much, it’s time for setting some limits, breaking things down, or starting with something smaller.

We get to choose when to assert our voice and stand up to say something is wrong. We get to let someone know when they’ve gone too far. We get to decide when to invest and when to step back.

Our boundaries are a place to find protection. Set some limits. Find your safe support.